Squashing out the green eyed monster

Green Eyed Monster

If you have been busy with your head down and working your butt off it can be a shock to look up and see a peer making great strides to achieving their dream.  Perhaps they just completed a degree you considered or got a promotion or stepped out and started their own business and are reaping the benefits.  Even in being truly happy for someone else, the thought can creep into your mind that you have yet to reach those same peaks of success in your career or personal life.  Hide as you may from these thoughts, if left unattended they can turn into full-fledged jealously of those who are winning around you.  So when the green eye monster of jealously creeps in here a couple of tips to check it at the door.

1. Refocus on your on progress. Jealousy on someone else’s progress can take the momentum out of your own growth in the time spent focusing on how you think someone else is winning.  If you have been working diligently yourself then the chances are there is some measureable progression you can reflect back on.  Most of life is about the path and taking time to review your journey can remind you have come a long way and learned invaluable lessons in the meantime.

2.  Take a closer look.  Jealousy is often something done when you only see the winning and not the pain heartbreak and even failures along the way.  In taking a closer look you are not just nitpicking someone else’s story or assuming the grass is greener but seeing all the components that went into someone else’s success.  Doing so presents a great opportunity to congratulate those around you that you see succeeding and pick their brains on how they were able to reach that level of success.  Even something simple like a lunch date can shed some light that adds clarity to your own action plan.

3.  Remember each journey is personal.  Even with everything else being the same, chances are if you were given the same things to build with as the next person you would not the exact same result.  That’s because we all unique and our successes and failures reflect that.  Think back to when you were a child, turning in a paper first or getting the highest grade on a test does not guarantee that would be a prize pupil.  Success in business is very similar in that it is not a sprint, it’s a marathon and each time you take another step towards your goal you win.

4. Redefine jealousy as inspiration.  Jealousy is the evil cousin to inspiration or admiration.  In all three you can see the qualities that see something great in someone else’s story, but with jealousy those things are mixed with a little hater.  Maybe you think you work harder or are smarter or that you just deserve it more.  Wash those feelings down the drain as soon as the pour in.  If you see someone else reaching something you desire use that push to move you forward, not leave you in the dust.

5.  Look at the whole picture.  There are many successes in life and it is very difficult to win in the same level at all of them.  Some have stellar careers but never see their kids, others make tons of money yet have no time to enjoy it.  There are positives and negatives to all situations.  By taking a step back and seeing everything involved in a win you also can see all the drawbacks.  Your ultimate goal should be one that balances your personal, family and professional goals so you don’t have to look back and realize it was your own life you should have been jealous of.

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