Ready for Love????

Path for love

So at the end of last year and the beginning of this year my mind was on love.  Now I don’t think you can effectively make a resolution to find love as it takes two, but, you can make a resolution to be more open to love.  Unfortunately it’s amazing how quickly the ghost (or perhaps demons) of year’s past can quickly creep into your New Year and shake things up.  With the usual suspects come the same old desire to dive off the dating map and my resolution is blown on day nineteen.  I recently spoke to someone with a different perspective that may just give me the push I need to stay on path.  In expressing how quickly I am to strike someone off my list, she shared a suggestion her approach to dating.  As a hopeless romantic she believes that when someone differs in their approach from you it boils down to communication so everyone can get on the same page.  I, on the other hand, take the approach of taking someone as they are.  I don’t believe I can change a person and if I don’t like what they are serving, I clear out and head to a different restaurant.  So where is the happy medium between being realistic and becoming jaded?

The trick is in weighing the fact that in love, as in life, there is no way to predict the future.  After kissing 99 frogs, there is no way to guarantee that the 100th will be a frog or a prince.  No, at thirty two I can’t go back to seeing everyone as a potential prince charming.  I can, however, be open to the possibilities.  I believe the possibility of love is the power in being a hopeless romantic.  For me, following the hope can lead to a big waste of time and some real frustration.  So although there is no true predictor of who someone is or how they will fit in your life, there certainly can be a trail of bread crumbs to lead to not only who someone truly is but also what their intentions are with you.  Without looking, and looking carefully, at these intentions and characteristics there is a real risk you get swept away by someone who really is not ready to put in the work to make the relationship successful.

Just as realism is a must skipping the jaded attitude is just as important.  Experiences can give you some insight but seeing clues of one person do not automatically lead to the results provided by someone else.  The attitude behind how the clues are evaluated can fill in the blank to an answer before all of the information is given.  Everyone is different and no one perfect.  The challenge in dating is not finding a perfect mate but a perfect fit for you.  By seeing those people who come in your live with fresh eyes you can still keep a keen eye out for signs of crazy, liar, cheater and other disasters, while still hoping for the best so you don’t miss out on your prince on the bet that he is a frog.

What is your New Year’s Resolution for love?

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