Haters Gonna Hate

Jealousy

Sometimes being a hater has been ingrained in others, mind, body and soul.  My eleven year old daughter came home from the skating rink all abuzz that there was some girl who persistently stared and even approached her and called her a *itch, despite the fact that they were strangers.  My instant reaction was to ask her why she spent time or breathe discussing some crazy person who did not like her for some unknown reason.  On second thought I was really amazed that even at eleven there are some people out there that will dislike another’s shine even if it is for good reason.

Many of these haters grow up and kept have these same bad habits, they reveal in your fails and discount your success.  Dealing with them can be a handful so how do you deal with the hater in your life, while you continue to strive for the success you want to achieve in your life?

  • Don’t sweat the little things.  Whether it’s a sarcastic comment or someone never being able to take joy in your success, being around someone who is a hater is frustrating.  It is easy to quickly get sucked into their banter and sour spirit but after a long back and forth the end result is often your frustration increasing while they stay unaffected.  Hating is bad, but letting someone else steal your joy is worst.  Find a place of peace that is not dependent on getting their approval or positive input to the blessings in your life as their approval may never come.
  • Ignore when possible.  As my mom always said, if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.  You are never obligated to engage someone, no matter what their opinion in.  Sometimes the easiest way to shut down some negative vibes is to show how disinterested you are in things that don’t breed positive energy.  When you fail to respond the air in their balloon is slowly released and they found someone or something else to hate on.
  • Apply a reality check when necessary.  There comes a time when enough is enough.  So how do you shut down the storm cloud of a hater?  Sometimes just a quick reference on their life may reveal what their real problem is…how they feel their life compares to yours.  A more positive, and less confrontation approach may be just to state how you feel about something.  Misery loves company and when you make it clear they can’t turn your smile into a frown they miss out on the goal to pull you down with them.
  • Don’t forget that you don’t know their story. The how and why of a creation of a hater is often a mystery.  Sometimes when you actually sit down and hear someone’s back story it really opens your eyes to their perspective.  Although this is not an excuse it may shed light on why they are content raining on someone else’s parade.  By setting an example of listening without judging you give may offer their first step on the road to recovery.  You cannot change others but knowing the story and giving some honest feedback may inspire them to change and at the very least may help you reconcile their behavior in your interactions.

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