Drop the bags and get ready for the future

Bag LadyChanging can be hard as hell.  New Year’s Resolutions are a prime example as just 8% of the people who set a resolution actually keep their resolution.  So why is it so hard to get over the hump and make the changes you want to see in your life???  One reason is that life can be a lot about surviving and when your mind is filled with thoughts of getting by its easy to get stuck in the same rut and stay in the same pattern.  Let’s face it, trying to tackle that whole cycle with your New Year’s resolutions isn’t going to happen so how can you start making small changes in your life and actually achieve your resolution?  Step one to small changes in your life can be the not so simple job of letting go.

There are people and behaviors in our lives that are frankly toxic.  As much as their presence may suck, the thought of leaving it or them behind can be as scary as keeping them around.  Here are some steps you can to begin to drop out the negative things and begin to move in a positive direction.

  1. Prepare to judge yourself the same way you judge others: It can be so easy to look around at all the people around us and see the things they do or think that are a little off.  How often do you take the same look at yourself?  For some of the people you love the harsh criticism may be just because you want the best for them.  Now it’s time to want the best for you.  Sometimes it’s not pretty but the reality check may be just what’s needed to light the fire of change.
  2. Back, back: Taking a step away provides clarity.  Looking at your life from the outside in helps you step away from the excuses that prevent your from dropping the baggage that needs to go.  Even the worst situation can become to feel like home because it is what you are used to.  Removing yourself from it helps you realize that life will be different but can also be better once you leave the baggage behind.
  3. Be prepared to forgive: Forgiveness is a hard thing to do but by not forgiving we carry around all the mess we need to let go of along with us.  The baggage impacts the way we see things and life long after the people we can’t forgive leave our lives.  Don’t let the inability to forgive block new experiences and people from coming in.  Sometimes the person you need to forgive most is you.   Don’t forget that forgiving someone can be as much for you as it is for them.
  4. Once you know what needs to go, commit to keeping it gone: This is a two-step process as it first means you really have to id what is wrong.  In a relationship, for instance, the problem may be the way you communicate, or the way they treat you, or hell the problem maybe the problem is you.  Sometimes by dropping the baggage you may make the change needed to improve the relationship or habit or probe that the whole thing needs to go to in the garbage.  No one goes and gets trash from the can and brings it back in the house, once you see what is doesn’t work, keep it out where it belongs.

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