Allowing time to wash away the pain of old wounds

Happy New Year 2015 wash away 2014 concept on sea beachThe old phrase that time heals old wounds, although true, can be painfully misleading.  It gives the message that if you wait long enough some of the injustices done to you by others will slowly wear away like sand on a beach.  Although time is a great conduit to healing, the truth is that the mental battle to forgiveness still exists, time or no time.  Forgiveness from our hearts often starts in our minds.  This is where the memory lives and it is all too easy to fall in to the trap of letting the negatives distort the offense and make it bigger and badder than it ever was.  With every negative association we add to the wrong we build up a fortress to prevent times healing power from washing in.  In this case time can in fact make the wound fester instead of heal.  Full of the puss of anger or injustice or neglect that allows us to carry it with us and have a negative impact on other parts of our lives as well.

Time can heal wounds, but it is up to us to open the door to allow it to do so.  Time has the ability to take negative events that were so vividly painful when they happen and slowly erase the jarring edges that hurt us as the mind is attracted to positive more than negative.  We just have to make sure that we do the work as well to assist this alone.  I do it by trying to do some simple re-programming.  Most recently I was deeply hurt and I felt betrayed by someone I trusted and really struggled with the idea of being able to just let it go.  It seemed the well was too deep, but one day it dawned on me that within my life I have forgiven worst offenses.  The newness of the event made it seem impossible, but my track record showed that even the most painful wrongs can find a resolution.

With that goal in mind, every time my mind triggered the event and all the pain and anger that came with it I tried to change my perspective or change the channel all together.  I did so by tempering the pain of the experience with the positives of that person.  Indeed the relationship was not all bad and as the fog of pain cleared I could also remember some of the good times that endeared this person to me in the first place.  Each mix of these positive memories caused a retreat in my mind to the pain that I felt.  If you can’t pull up any good memories you can always just force feed your mind good memories or say a little prayer for them and keep it moving.  No, this is not an instant fix, but is a good way to get a hold of yourself, clean and bandage the wound and prepare yourself to continue on.  As they say “life goes on” and you always have the choice to linger in the past or relish in a future that you can create.

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